When I’m upset, I stop drinking


February 21, 2017

Hello, friends.

Last night after I had prepared dinner and had my one measured glass of wine with it I poured a second (and planned to be last) glass. But DW had said a few things that made me upset, and she started to press the issue, so I got up, took my glass of wine into the kitchen, poured it back in the bottle, and put the bottle back in the fridge. I had opened it for us both to enjoy, so now I have an opened full bottle of wine in the fridge. And I weigh a pound less today than yesterday. Win-win.

It underscores what I know to be true about me. When I’m upset the last thing I want is to drink. That leads down a path I no longer wish to go.


Just Plain Phil

2 comments on “When I’m upset, I stop drinking
  1. Cherie Sanders says:

    Hi , I’ve never joined or posted anything but I needed some help on this matter. I drank for many years and it caused problems in most area’s of my life. I have not drank in 2 months. My mom and step dad attended A.A. meetings most of my life. I’ve seen mostly good in A.A. but it’s not my choice. I want to decide if I can manage my drinking (by limiting and being a mindful drinker) or if not I’ll quit. My husband doesn’t want me to drink and I don’t want to drink like I use to. I feel like a prisoner. I’m sure I’ll rebel and I don’t want to sneak around so how can I convince him to let me try settings a limit? I’ve said I was setting a limit before but I wasn’t serious. I put him through hell so I understand why he is against me trying again. I don’t want to resent his controlling me,or have our marriage threatened but I want the chance to try limiting my drinking because I want to.

    • Kary May Hickey says:

      Cherie, I’m glad you felt you could reach out to us here at MM. I am in kind of a unique position to answer this question, I once was a heavy nightly drinker and am now someone who chooses not to drink but I still live with a heavy drinker. So, I can see your side of this problem and your husband’s. For me, I had to try moderation before I could embrace the idea of giving up drinking for good, I can say with confidence that I don’t think I would ever had made this decision to quit completely if I hadn’t joined MM. I know, at this time, you want to be able to moderate, and you very well may be able to, but this choice is not really about drinking or not drinking, it’s about finding a way of life that allows us to be the happiest we can be. Because MM recommends quite a few number of days where you don’t drink at all, I became more comfortable with not drinking and discovered that is when I am the happiest. So tell your husband that MM is not just a program that promotes drinking within moderate limits, it also guides you to the decision that is right for you. I don’t know if your husband drinks at all, but he may not fully realize the consequences for himself if you choose to permanently abstain from drinking. All he can see is that by you quitting, it wipes out all the bad things that drinking can bring. But, it also affects relationships with friends and family members, it changes vacations and holidays and special occasions where he might be used to sharing a glass of wine or a celebratory drink with you. He won’t have that anymore. I am currently reading a book that is written for family members of addicts and problem drinkers called “Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kind And Help People Change”. It has some great insights and recommendations. It promotes the CRAFT technique of dealing with people with substance abuse problems.

      From the point of a view of someone who lives with a problem drinker, while you may realize how the bad drinking times affect your partner, you probably don’t realize how he is affected on a day to day basis. How he constantly worries about you. How your drinking also controls his life and how he has to try to maneuver around it. How he can never fully relax and enjoy outings when he’s with you because he’s always on guard. How much he hates himself for how he treats you when you’re drinking or afterwards. Our partner’s drinking turns us into people we never wanted to be, suspicious, angry, resentful, ashamed people. And, we’re not the ones with the problem.

      For a lot more help and support, please visit the MM forum , there are a lot of people there going through the very same thing. Glad you joined the Hub!

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