Welcome to New Members!

November 6, 2016

I noticed that we have a couple of new members and I want to apologize for being tardy in welcoming you to MM’s Public Hub. The Public Hub is a new MM site but Moderation Management has been around for decades.  We have two very active private communities, the MM Forum and the MM Listserv where you will find 24/7 support from people who are going through, or have been through, the same struggles and triumphs we all face when we make the decision to challenge ourselves to change our drinking habits and, as a result, change our lives. You are no longer alone!

And, we need you as much as you need us.

There is something mysterious that happens once you join a support community. Many of us struggled for years on our own, many of us tried several methods and tools to decrease our drinking, or even quit drinking completely, on our own. But, over and over again we failed. We knew what we had to do, but we couldn’t do it.  If we already knew what it was we had to do, after all there are endless books out there on the subject, what good would joining a support community do? Am I right?

Some of it I can explain, and some of it remains a fascinating, inexplicable secret. There is the accountability thing. There is something about joining with others to accomplish a common goal and knowing that you are part of a collective effort, realizing if you fail it may cause someone else to weaken and fail with you. Most of us find we can stay stronger for others than we can for ourselves.

And there’s also the pride effect. No, I’m not talking about a group of lions.

I’m talking about the opposite of shame.

Pride is something that most of us are woefully lacking when we first reach out to a support group. Instead, we feel deeply shamed. It is hard to succeed at anything when you are ashamed of yourself. It sucks all the energy and hope out of us, especially after so many failures to succeed on our own.  One of the first things you will hear from other members is to quit beating yourself up. Easier said than done. But then you accomplish your first day without alcohol and something flickers. Then you get another. Little by little the flame is fed and you realize that you are no longer ashamed of yourself and that not only have you helped yourself, but you have helped others.

That is something to be proud of.

The magic happens when you realize that you are not alone, you are not different, weaker, a worse person, more hopeless than anyone else who struggles. When others share their stories, you hear echoes of your own. When they succeed, you are convinced you can, too.

When you succeed, and you will succeed, others will know that they can, too.

Thank you for joining the MM Public Hub. You’re more than welcome to continue the journey here and share your experience with the world-this is a public site, by doing that, you are helping so many others who are out there looking for somewhere to turn. But, in addition, we’d love to have you join one of our private MM communities also.

7 comments on “Welcome to New Members!
  1. Just Plain Phil says:

    I joined MM in 1999 because I had joined AA in late 1998, done the 90 in 90, was saddled with an ex-Marine for a sponsor, and it just wasn’t working. MM offered a non-judgemental place to be. I’m happy I did.

  2. Judy Brown says:

    Thanks so much for this lovely welcome. It indeed met me right where I’m at!

  3. Matthew Smith says:

    Hi I just joined MM. I am so happy I found this site. How did I get here? I havent hit bottom or weaved from crisis to crisis, drama to drama, no binges and no black outs. I am a quiet drunk. After preping dinner, I start: One martini, two maybe a third…every day. I am a great cook but I cant taste the food as I am “polluted” by my cocktails. And so it went, day in day out…waiting until 5pm, carefully stopping at 6;30 when I served my instagram perfect meals…And then I said “enough. tired of a disturbed sleep pattern, acid reflux, high BP and mood instability that alcohol must inevitably cause. Tired of the habituation… So decided to drink according to the guidelines, not to exceed 14 units, trying to stay to two drinking days only, no solo drinking. Thank God, my partner does not drink on weekdays. So honing the program as I learn more here Three weeks now. Take great joy in that I have cut back drinking about 75% this way…..Day by Day.

    • Kary May Hickey says:

      Good for you, Matthew! I don’t know if you’ve visited our communities The Forum or the MMList, but if you haven’t the links are in the article above. What amazing progress you’ve made!

      • Matthew Smith says:

        Thank you, I am reading more here and learning my way around the site. Trying to focus on how great I feel the day after a day of NOT drinking….on firm ground, clear and sound.

        • Kary May Hickey says:

          That’s wonderful to hear. I wish we had more interaction on this site, but I understand the concerns about anonymity that some people have. Maybe you’ll start a trend!

    • Jonathan M. Langley says:

      Hi Matthew, so many of us are in the same boat. No hot drama, just the slow realization that we are drinking our lives away and want to regain ourselves from the habits that have swallowed us. Welcome, please write a few entries to share your story!

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