After an exciting 30 year Air Force career as a pilot and manager, and an additional ten years at the University, I found myself “unemployed.” Others would call it retirement, but I found my self-worth was tied up with accomplishment, and retirement wasn’t cutting it. So, years of moderate drinking began to drift toward problem drinking. If I couldn’t feel good about what I was “doing,” some alcohol would bring a smile back to my life. It did, for a while. Then it began to impact my relationships with my wife and others. My smile turned to a frown. I needed to “re-boot” me. And I did so. A spent a year with AA and was abstinent. During that time I took a hard look at my life and began to like it. I found some volunteer opportunities. I worked hard on restoring my marriage–successfully I might add. I learned to enjoy my small farm, cleaning the stalls, training the horses, picking and canning produce, and learning to manage a very aggressive rooster. In short, I learned to be thankful for what I had and to not look to others “for my smiles.” With the MM program it is working. I just needed to learn to like myself.
I love this! Sounds like you worked at rebuilding your whole life and sometimes that’s what it takes. I sometimes dream of having a small farm just like you described, but I can barely make sure the bird feeders are kept full. lol
Are you moderating now or abstaining?