Comment on Moderation : Is it Real ? How to Make it Real ! by Kary May Hickey.
All so true and shared by almost everyone who takes a month off of drinking, even those who were skeptical in the beginning. Thanks, Katy
Recent Comments by Kary May Hickey
drank after double digit program recovery.
J.E. we have had several members join MM after many years in AA. Some of them have succeeded at moderation with the support of our communities, some of them returned to abstinence and AA. I want to commend you for seeking support with this issue, as you know, having a community walking alongside of you can make a big difference. This site is our public site and there is not much interaction. I’d like to encourage you to check-out our MM forum and listserv to see which one best fits your needs. They are private sites and that is where you will find our members hanging out. The links are at the bottom of this page.
Welcome to MM.
How Did I Get Here?
Hola Ellie Best! Welcome to MM!. I want to congratulate you on taking the step to look for support to help you reach your drinking goals! I don’t know if you are aware, but this site is our public site where our members share their experiences with people just like you. However, most of our members feel more comfortable over on our private community sites, The MM Forum and The MM Listserv, you can find links for these communities over at the top of the sidebar. There you will get a lot more rapport and find many people who, just like you, are looking for ways to change their current drinking habits to healthy drinking habits.
My 1st wk, plus 1 day with MM
Hey there, Emerald Lilly, welcome to MM. Don’t be discouraged, this is MM’s public page where our members and others share their experiences with the public. Most of the back-and-forth communication-24/7- takes place over at our private communities, the MM forum and the MM listserv-you’ll find links for them and our website over at the top of the sidebar under the section: Looking for Support?” In our private communities, you’ll find lots of people who, just like you, were looking for alternatives to traditional abstinence based, 12 step programs. We respect these communities and know they are the answer for some people, but not all. MM has guidelines, but we don’t have requirements, instead we let our members figure out the best recovery path for themselves and we support them on that path. We offer support for both those who choose moderation and those who choose abstinence-sometimes attempting moderation leads to choosing abstinence, and sometimes those who have been abstinent for a while decided they’d like to try moderation-we’re there for anyone who wants to make a change in their drinking practices.
I hope I see you over at one of our communities soon.
Hola Wilhelmina, please don’t leave. The Pub Hub is MM’s public site, it is here for members and others to share their experiences with the public. While our hope is that someday the stigma of seeking help for problem drinking will disappear and people will be proud of the fact that they are courageous enough to ask for support, that’s not the world we live in yet. A lot of people who find this site do not know about our private communities where their identity is protected, so we like to make sure that this is actually the site they want to post on before we make their comments public. We know how vulnerable people feel in the beginning of this journey, we remember because we were once them. We do everything we can to protect them, and that includes previewing posts to make sure that none of them are offensive. I, for one, know that if I received a response I didn’t want to hear, once I worked up the courage to actually post on a site, it would take me a long time to get that courage up again. It happened to me in the beginning when I the only sites I knew about were 12 Step sites. I wanted help desperately, but I could not make myself go to a meeting. I posted this, and the first thing I was told was that there was no hope for me if I was unwilling to go to a meeting. How long do you think it took me to reach out again?
Give us another chance. Take a peek at our private communities, The MM Forum at http://forum.moderation.org/ or the MM Listserv at http://www.moderation.org/online/listserv.html. For more information you can also visit the main MM Website at http://www.moderation.org/
My 1st wk, plus 1 day with MM
Isn’t it amazing the difference one week can make? There’s a door opened with a whole new world out there! Who knew it? You should be very proud of yourself, we are.
On a personal note, I, too, have a drinking spouse. Mine is a heavy drinker and, like you, I’ve become a damn good reader of the tiny nuances that forecast a downward turn. It’s not easy staying positive when this happens and it’s not easy to adhere to our own personal goals. I put off facing my drinking demons for many years to avoid the turmoil it was going to cause in my marriage, which only caused me to drink more and more. Finally, came down to saving myself, whether my marriage made it or not. I chose me.
I’m still married, but it’s not easy. Sometimes I resent that alcohol still has some control over my life, even thought I no longer drink at all. But, then again, I’m letting it have the control it has, I always have the power to change that.
No easy answers on the spousal front, but I salute you my sister-in-arms. We’ve been having several conversations about this very thing over on the MM forum lately. You’re more than welcome to join in.
Thank you for sharing your experiences here, you’ve done a valuable service for others struggling with the same problems.